.Monday, May 24, 2010 ' 7:43 AM Y
You just don't seem to care about me when I'm sick. Vomiting and you just don't bother asking about how I feel. But when she just tells you she's being worn out, you can't help but to care about her. Who is your girlfriend in the 1st place?? You message and care about her when you don't even bother messaging your own girlfriend to even ask her how she feels. You message her and delete the messages, I'm pissed off. Jealous, crying but I can't do anything and just see my own boyfriend being snatch away like this. Being flirt by a girl. If you had just left the msg there I would be jealous, angry but would it be for long?? No. How do you really expect me to trust you even more? I can confidently say if I were to msg you like: your girlfriend? You not going bangkok I think about it I siann sia.. You confirm won't reply me. Just by her this msg, it already proves she misses you. The way she msg you is already damn flirt. You told me: " you think I will so easily get flirt away??" But have you thought about it.. if there was a guy who did the same thing to me and I reply him in a happy manner, as a boyfriend would you be happy that your own girlfriend is being flirt and you can't do anything to stop it but just watch it floating away?? Can you even stand in my shoes to think about it? No you didn't. She worn out and I'm sick. I'm your girlfriend but you don't bother to care about me but her much more. If you hadn't notice, msges you send to me are cold. But the way you msg her, its totally different. How can just asking about her dad lead to you going bangkok? Sometimes I feel like just deleting her contact, but I didn't. Cause I understand that its your father's good friend in the 1st place. I'm fucking jealous, crying.. but all I can do is to watch all the flirting happen. I wanna stop it. But I've got no ways.. can you even feel how I feel if you were me?
You're bdae outing I plan it so hard for you. Baking the cake for you with all my effort for the 1st time. You just don't seem bother. Got burnt by a no of times but I didn't say. But there's not even a least of appreciation hugg telling me thank you. I'm already being more understanding and mature but you don't seem to notice it. Just like what chest said: relationship is like flying a kite, you take in too much.. the kite will lead to a break, you let it go too much, it'll soon fly away. I'm trying hard to fly this kite of ours for as long as I can but are you trying so? If it was last time and I'm jealous, you'll at least try to make me happy and I appreciate that. I feel secured. But now you just seem not to care about everything but care for another girl more which makes me feel more and more insecure. You put all the blame on me, but think about it properly.. you've not made me feel secure for quite a long time. That's why it'll lead to all those quarrels. You would used to msg me all those sweet stuffs but you just don't anymore.. how would you feel if I were to just like not care about you when you're sick or what. You'll confirm feel insecure. I'm a girl. Girls tend to feel insecure easily. Not a guy. I wanna make you jealous so as to see whether you still care, but you don't. What am I supposed to do? I just wanna tell you so much and how important you are to me but whenever I see you.. It can't come out. I just hate myself to the max.. watching my boyfriend being flirt by and I can't do anything else but to watch you slowly floating to her side. I hate it, I hate it, I just hate you elinaaa!! I still have so much more to say to you, tell you but I don't know how to express it out and when you don't understand I get very frustrated. I get angry with you but mostly angry with myself. That's why I told you before, I can't get angry with you for long cause it's myself and hatred I'm frustrated with. I wanna fly this kite with you till old but do you even or still understand? You're always putting all the blame on me and I'm feeling more and more useless. I'm only watching you getting flirt by and can't do a single shit. I wanna ask you stop contacting and meeting her but I know can't. I'm just watching happen being jealous all about it..
