.Saturday, March 6, 2010 ' 5:20 AM Y
Everytime when we meet might just be the time where we meet for the last time. Everysince I heard about somethings from you, I've just been thinking about it without fail without missing it for a second. 3 more months.. I really don't look forward to it. If there was ever a chance for it to last, I'll really want it. But you said my request was getting higher and my expectations towards you was getting more difficult towards you. Whatever things I did, I know I do it for you and not for myself. You said I was making use of your care and concern towards me. Maybe you're right, but I did it unknowingly. But have you ever thought why? I did it for your own good and not whether you're happy with it. I did'nt mean it. The moment you told me about 3 more months and we might not be able to be together anymore, thousands of arrows pierce through my fragile heart. You might laugh, but this was the feeling. Kai Jin is'nt Kai Jin anymore but just an empty shell.. Kai Jin = elina.. If you're changing for the better why not? I think the person that does'nt understand is you. I really don't know how to explain to you, but I know stuffs which I did are for your own good. Things which I done for you were not seen at times and not appreciated, Sometimes even get unknown scoldings from you. I cried, do you even know? No you don't. I did'nt wanna let you know or let you feel guilty. It was'nt suppose to let you know. But I guess a paper can't cover fire. I was'nt able to sleep thinking about what you said. I smiled infront of you happily but unknowingly let you saw through. 3 more months.. *haahhs* when I really planned to spend my rest of life with you cause I gurantee you're the person which I wanna be with, be it sadness or happiness, you're the one.:) Memories I thought back was sweet and not only smiling but sweetness in my heart as well. I did'nt regret. You said sweet moments won't last long but if you really believe in the 1% chance, I believe we'll be able to work it out and moments like this will be able to last till my grave. I really love you a lot and really don't look forward to that few months.. --251009--x33
