.Saturday, February 28, 2009 ' 8:45 AM Y
Went out with wei en darlingg and others today. At first tt of going to alexsandra hospital to visit frederick after his operation but then he was being discharged before i even got there. So end up meeting darlingg and the rest. Went out to slack and talk craps with them. They are seriously fun ppl to be with man. We spend most of our time in the arcade playing and spending money on arcade.(quite a waste of money actually) xD After that we went our seperate ways cuz wei en parents was coming to WS to have dinner with her. Then we met up with wei ming and the rest again after finsih eating. Darlingg's daddy saw me smoking!! wtf.. how sway can i get man. At that point of time i was like 'DAMN! THERE GOES MY IMPRESSION IN THEM!!!" LOL! After slacking with them awhile more darlingg and gang sent me home. Damn guilty can? cuz all of them got caught in the rain because of me.:( Not long later i went home. Can say i did enjoy my day with them bahx.;D;D hahax. I really treasure my time whenever out with her. Hearts darlingg a lot.x33But..the other side of me still misses baby lots. I'm just too upset till i can't cry out. I know if i cry out I'll feel much much better..but I'm crying and bleeding in my heart. Not on the surface. I know by drinking and smoking lots won't help me. But other then that..i can't find other ways to numb myself. Can I?? I don't even know. Drinking till dead everyday just makes me fall asleep fast but what about other nitez? I just keep running away from reality. Friends and others think I'm a strong girl. But I don't think soo..I know i'm just showing another side of me. Cuz I don't wan my friends to worry for me. Babyyy..I really miss you a lot. You can't trust me because of?? You don't understand me well enough.. Is there even a chance for us to be back together? Is it even worth for me waiting for you? I don't know. really fucking confused! Babyyy..your words and promises towards me just keeps repeating inside my mind. It just keeps flashing back. But still you broke your promises and whatever you said towards me.. are you still even trustable? Are all guys trustable? Are all guys like this? Just dump you away whenever they are sick and tired of you? babyy...;(;(;( --040209-- x33
